


An Oath That We Can Keep: Night

by estelraca



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:53:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29668938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estelraca/pseuds/estelraca
Summary: When Beau is injured on the battlefield, Yasha spends some time considering which would be more painful--stopping the relationship now, or potentially losing another love of her life.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9
Collections: Purimgifts 2021





	An Oath That We Can Keep: Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [enkelimagnus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/enkelimagnus/gifts).



> The conclusion!

Beau freezes, looking up at Yasha with big, hurt, wet eyes. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“No.” Yasha talks quickly, because she _had_ been considering that. She can't, though, not if it's going to make Beau _cry_. Beau doesn't cry about anything. “I'm not doing anything. I'm just sitting here, and I'm scared, and I don't know... I don't know how to keep going forward, but I know we can't go back, and it _hurts_.”

Now _she's_ going to cry. When was the last time she cried? Her heart wants to say when she stood over Beau's body, knowing she had been the one to drive the sword through Beau's chest, but she doesn't think that's right. There have been too many other traumas since then. Surely she's cried for some of the other Nein, too.

Surely she's cried for herself, for what she's let go and what she's reclaimed.

But right now all her heart seems able to focus on is the beautiful woman before her—a woman who wouldn't be herself without the scars she wears and the ones their friends have hidden. A young woman who _has_ to be the hero, who _has_ to throw herself into danger, because to do otherwise is to betray her core.

To do otherwise is, in Beau's mind, to betray Mollymauk's memory, to make all that they have been through since his death less than it is.

“Yasha, hey, it's all right.” Beau's hand rises, wipes against first one side of Yasha's face and then the other.

Wiping tears away.

Wiping away the grief that doesn't even have a _reason_ , because Beau is _here_ , Beau is _fine_ , but it still feels like there's a burning poker skewering through Yasha's heart ever since Beau fell, and she doesn't know how to make it go away.

Yasha stands, beginning to pace. She tries to keep her gaze pointed out, away from the fire, to keep from ruining her night vision, but she can't quite keep her eyes away from Beau. Beau looks... perfect. Regal, certain, sure of herself even if her hands are hanging empty.

She's grown so much. She's become someone to be proud of, while Yasha...

“Is this about...” Beau hesitates, as she always does when bringing up topics she knows will hurt. As much as Beau can be tactless bordering on cruel, she doesn't like to hurt her friends. She just uses her bluntness as one more piece of armor, one more way to protect herself from a world that didn't care about her when she needed it most. “Is this about Luella?”

“Yes. No.” Yasha stops, standing in front of Beau, taking in the picture of beauty and strength. Destroying her night vision in the process, but they've killed the most dangerous things around here—other predators will know to be wary of them. “I couldn't save her. I thought I was strong. I thought I could protect us both. But I couldn't.”

“You don't have to protect me.” Beau stands, all lithe muscle and poise. “I'm not some cowering princess you have to wrap up.”

“I _know_ that. Don't you think I know that? It's what I've been telling you.” Yasha steps forward. Cupping Beau's face, turning their lips so that they're aligned again, is surely a terrible idea. But she's doing it anyway.

Beau kisses her gently, her hands reaching up to bury themselves in Yasha's hair. She presses her body flush against Yasha's, breasts to breasts, hip to hip. There's an electric _snap_ between them, something alike and unlike the power of the Storm Lord. The Storm Lord's blessing? Beau's chi power? Yasha's own awareness of what's going on?

Beau exhales slowly when their lips part, her eyes never leaving Yasha's. “I won't say that you won't have to worry again. That we won't end up _here_ again.”

“I know.” If Beau were to promise that, she wouldn't be Beau anymore.

“But I can promise that I will always do my damnedest to get back to you. Whether that's dodging the blow or hanging on for the healers or crawling my way back from wherever spirits go after we die, I will do it. And I will be thinking of you every step of the way. I will picture your face and I will punch every fucking god in the whole pantheon if that's what it takes to get back.” Beau leans forward, and there is just the faintest pressure against Yasha's lips, a kiss that could be a dream. “Do you believe me? And does it help?”

“I believe you.” Who could look at those fierce eyes and say _not true_? “And... I think it helps. A bit. It doesn't make it go away, but... it helps.”

“Good.” Beau presses their lips together again, a more firm kiss. “Because I want to spend every year of the rest of my life with you. I want us to grow old together, and I didn't even think I'd _get_ an old age until... until the Nein showed me it could happen.”

“I want to grow old with you, too.” It doesn't hurt as much as it once would have, the way those words echo into the past to touch ghosts of Luella.

“Then that's what we'll do.” Beau smiles, her shoulders relaxing, tension draining out of her body.

“This is deeply, deeply romantic.” Jester's words are interrupted by a yawn. “But do you need me to take the watch now? Or should I go back to sleep?”

Beau glances back at Jester with a smile. “Go back to sleep, Jess. We got this.”

Yasha settles at her place by the fire, and Beau sits next to her. A moment later Beau's head is against her shoulder, the two of them watching the world.

It will never be a safe world. There will never be any certainties in it.

But they will face it together, and they will fight for each other, and hopefully... hopefully that will be enough.


End file.
